| THE QUESTIONAIRE |
[05 May 2007|12:17am] |
1. Which outcome would you prefer the most?
a) World peace
b) Personal contentment with your life
c) A million dollars, tax free, for yourself only
d) An all-expenses paid vacation to the place of your choice for a month, no job-endangerment
If one person can't attain personal contentment, how are three million people going to do it? I say start small, get big!
2. If you found someone's wallet on the ground and it had $400 in it, would you:
a) Keep the money, drop the wallet back on the ground
b) Keep the entire wallet
c) Take the wallet to the nearest place you found it at and entrust whomever works there with the responsibility of keeping everything intact
d) Take the wallet to the cops
e) Mail the wallet to the person if there is an identification card with an address on it without the money
f) Burn the wallet in the nearest trashcan so your prints aren't salvageable after removing the money
Depends where I found it. If I found it say, in a grocery store parking lot, I'd take it into the grocery store to the customer service desk, and give it to them because it's likely that the person who lost it at the grocery store will phone the grocery store looking for it. If I found it at a less ... reasonable place, I'd open the wallet, find the ID, and haul out the phonebook. If they were unlisted, then I'd take the wallet to the cops. Self-sufficience, responsibility, and morality is key. For me. And I'm moving onto the next question before I lure myself into a political tirade after the in leui of the debates last night. Why? Because all they talked about was abortion and stem cell research and the obligatory "oh yeah, and we'll cut taxes, too, sure"?! Something fishy is seriously going on there. Let's not talk about anything constructive, let's not talk about anything that would help the US population -- no, let's bicker over issues that are going to effect a select number of the population. You know, and why don't we just abolish women's rights entirely. Women don't need the right to their own bodies; only men get that. Next they'll be taking away sufferage, knocking us up, and locking us up in kitchens barefoot and pregnant. I also just have to say that if abortion is illegal and women lose their rights, it will be a big blow -- even to women who thought they were pro-life. And for all you pro-life people out there that thing the what, 8 or 16 fetal cells scientists want to take for stem cell research is murder? Here's a nice little allegory for you: An in vitro clinic catches fire. There's a toddler stuck in the fire. Do you save the toddler, or grab 10, 000 fertilized cells before the place crashes and burns? You'd save the 10, 000 ferlized, in vitro cell-babies, right? Yeah, I'm sure.
Whew. Okay, off to a great start. Now I'll never get picked by this girl on the internet to go out with this guy on the internet. You know, because I don't meet guys in my day to day life. Actually, I really don't except for Jack. He's got a receding hairline and his sperm's so old they probably travel through the fillopian tubes with wheelchairs and walkers. No, that's not true. I mean, they're pretty old, don't get me wrong, but I'm sure they're brilliant little ... gametes. Hi. Where am I? Can someone dig me out of this hole? Okay, thanks. :D
3. Which of these would you say is your highest priority:
a) Career
b) Wealth
c) Family
d) Friends
e) Myspace (don't check this one if you're just trying to be funny, it's a serious option)
f) Personal health
That doesn't mean I'm looking for a man to saddle down with children. I know what sperm banks are, I know how women use them, I've seen The L Word and If These Walls Could Talk 1 or 2 -- whichever one Ellen and Sharon Stone are in playing a happy lesbian couple trying desperately to have a baby after the gay man they asked to be a personal doner refused. But I think some sense of stability is important. I guess that's not cool or fun but really, how much fun is going to the same bar every night and bringing the same kind of men and/or women home? And conversely, how much fun is staying home every night binging on Ben and Jerry's because you're alone and miserable? Personally, I prefer Chinese takeout and spending the day naked in bed with someone you know and that knows your body like a one night stand could never. Isn't that what's fun about sex? I always thought so. It's not novice sex, and they're not novice orgasms. You know, also -- I don't think there's anything more fun about sex than laughing during it. No, really. I'll never get an on line boyfriend with this kind of talk I guess. Maybe I'm an oddball, I don't know! What do you think, Taylor? Lay some wisdom on me.
4. If Evan mentioned he had a myspace and gave it to you, which would you be most-likely to do:
a) Friend him, send him messages once in a while, check his bulletins, maybe comment
b) Friend him, send constant messages, ask for picture comments, check his top 8, comment a few times a day
c) Friend him, wait for him to send you messages, post vague comments, hope he likes your pictures
d) You've already friended him and are waiting for him to accept, seen all of his pictures, have written out comments you've wanted to post
... Whatever happened to good old-fashioned coffee? Now you need a MySpace? I'm twenty-six. I guess MySpace is too cool for me. That, and nothing tops good, old-fashioned polaroids. And everybody who takes pictures and posts them on the Internet -- 99% of them use that same pose. The coy, over-the-shoulder, shoulder-hitch-up so it looks bonier, Marilyn lip-pout kiss me, heavy-lidded, bedroom eyes thing. Except a lot of the time, people just end up looking like they have a lazy eye. It's the Paris Hilton pose of the Internet. Guys, guys actually change it up a little, don't they? It's either the bicep curl or the constipation face. See, in polaroids, people look normal.
5. How about religion? Which fits you best:
a) I'm deeply religious and expect whomever I am dating to be at the same level.
b) I practice my religion but I don't preach, to each their own.
c) I can't WAIT to tell you about my church!!
d) I'm not really religious or anything, more like agnostic.
e) I'm an atheist.
f) I haven't figured that out yet.
g) I dabble.
America's a melting pot. The water's fine, theoretically speaking. Jump. No, not off the cliff! Into the water.
6. Which of these best describes you:
a) I have never and will never smoke.
b) I will always be anti-smoking.
c) I smoke. So what?
d) I'm an ex-smoker.
e) I'M TRYING TO QUIT, GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE.
f) I don't smoke, never wanted to, don't mind it though.
g) I'm allergic.
Don't get in my car smelling like an ashtray, don't choke me on the smell of Camels or even more pathetic, the feeble scent of Febreeze that barely covers the smell of your cigarettes. That just makes you look like you're embarressed of yourself, and you're aware of how gross and unclean you smell, and you're worse because you know all that, and you do NOTHING about it. And then you probably play the addiction card like it's out of your hands and you're nothing but a victim. But you have the power to change -- I digress. I don't approve, but I don't have the right to tell you what to do, so do what you want. Just not around me, and not in the vicinity of others who aren't cool with the idea of getting lung cancer and dying a miserable death because you were selfish or worse, careless about your fellow man, and had to light up after a meal.
7. Which of the following do you associate with most:
a) I drink occasionally, when I'm feeling extra down or extra up.
b) I drink socially.
c) I never drink, never will.
d) Where'd I put my beer?
e) Beer's for pussies, where's my crack pipe?
Now, THIS kind of smoke, on the other hand ... I'm kidding, I'm KIDDING. Keep me on RECORD for that. I drink when I'm feeling extra up, extra down, extra stressed out, extra fine, extra happy, extra carefree. That doesn't mean I drink all the time and I'm an alcoholic. It means on weekends, I have drinks with friends. Nobody has to carry me out, and nobody has to help me because I'm throwing up in the bathroom. Well, not usually. Everybody's had that one night unless they're the rare breed of people that don't drink at all and haven't ever. But alcohol's the most abused drug out of all of them, cigarettes included. Food for thought.
8. When you and your boyfriend/date/fuck-buddy are picking out a movie, you:
a) Pick one you both wanna see.
b) Pick the one you've wanted to see forever, and if he doesn't go for it, kinda throw a fit.
c) Pick the one he wants to see, you'd rather he be happy.
d) Pick the chick flick 'cause he's required to see them with you, since it's a "date movie."
e) Avoid the crying ones so you won't be seen with running mascara.
f) Don't go to the movies.
Sometimes I wanna see a movie, sometimes he wants to see a movie. Sometimes we both want to see the same movie. Sometimes I want to pick a movie he'll hate but has to sit through anyway because he's in the doghouse, and knows he deserves to be miserable. But typically, it doesn't matter who's watching what. I'm watching because I wanna be with him, and he's watching because he wants to be with me. It's about us, not the box. Okay, that's romanticized and probably not at all true, but I'd really like it to be? Can I get a point for that?
9. Everyone has their vices. What's yours?
a) Chocolate.
b) Sex.
c) Evan.
d) Myspace/greatestjournal/livejournal/melo/any other blog place
e) Reality TV. (This shouldn't count! I need this for work!)
f) Marijuana.
g) Celebrity gossip. (I need this for work!)
h) Attention. (I need this to do my job. Well, I need this to keep my job, so I like it!)
i) Giving head.
10. When was the last time you read a book?
a) I'm in the middle of one I just barely put down. I've got 12 on a waiting list at the library.
b) I think about a month ago, another one I randomly put down and never picked back up.
c) Not since high school/college, unless you're talking about a magazine or tabloid.
d) Why read when there's movies and television and the internet?
e) I don't read 'cause I have too many text books I'm already reading.
... I'm uncool. I don't go out that often. But it's not about lack of wanting to anymore! It's more that I went through a rough breakup (he was cheating), had a nervous breakdown on the radio, got suspended from my job for a month, and holed up in my room without showering for a week and gained 10 pounds from it all, in that order. I guess they got tired of waiting and moved on with their lives. I wonder what gave them the idea I wasn't any fun! Seriously though, I was with Smith for seven years. A month of visceral mourning for seven years? If you don't have that kind of reaction, you probably didn't love him, or you're too proud or pissed off to admit it. I mean, a month like me isn't exactly normal, I admit, but I think it's still in the vicinity of human.
True or False section:
You have a job.
True
You have a mode of transportation.
True
You wouldn't mind moving, and possibly taking time to tour the country.
True
You have a real problem with guys that are seemingly interested in you, flirting with other women.
True -- Wait. I mean, it's kind of a chronic problem if my ex did it for two years. I'd rather someone, you know, respected me a little bit. But if I read this question the other way I mean, you know, but he always DID flirt, and I didn't mind. I mean, I wasn't worried. If you have a problem with it, it's because you're worried, and maybe you should be worried.
You have a real problem with said guy talking about your sex life publicly.
False -- I'll talk about it. I'm a DJ, that's the nature of the beast. He can talk about it. I mean, there are lines but for the most part, maybe something he talks about would help someone else out with a problem they have. And that gives my life and our lives more meaning. It means we're doing something valuable, even if it's a fight, even if it's petty ... it does something to make the world better, if it helps someone out. Also, I get listeners. I like listeners. I like my job.
You have personally talked about your own sex life publicly (on greatestjournal that people can see, etc.).
True -- Greatest Journal? I have a radio show! Now granted, when I let loose with intimate, INTIMATE details of my sex life -- I mean, you might have heard about it. I told everyone who listens in the morning about my ex-boyfriend Smith, about the bathtub incident, about the Apology Blowjob ... If you don't want the world knowing you're a douchebag, don't be a douchebag. It's that simple.
You wouldn't mind being a trophy wife, as long as your husband doesn't sleep around.
True -- I don't know what that means. Does that mean I make a pretty accessory on his arm? Who wouldn't like that? I don't wanna feel that's the definition of who I am or it's the definition of our relationship, but I like feeling beautiful and being on someone's arm. I know how to be polite, I come from a good family ...
Taylor's pretty much the coolest chick ever.
I don't know, I don't know you. I don't think you listen to my show, so I don't knoooooooooooow. You are pretty, though. You're the only person I've seen with eyes as blue as mine. I'm The Coolest Chic Ever, you can be Cool Junior. With life experience, you too might one day celebrity deathmatch me for my title.
I've wanted to date Evan for a long time, just to see what it's like.
Umm. Just to see what it's like! I guess?
I've wanted to date Evan for a long time, 'cause I've heard he's amazing in the sack.
Who's Evan? Does he really get around?
I've wanted to date Evan for a little while, 'cause he asked me out and I said yes.
OH! The guy who left the comment on my JOURNAL. He seems personable, I like outgoing people. Does he have a nice Christmas Tree?
I've wanted to date Evan for a long time, and I'm going to be the one girl that he sticks with.
... Does he usually go for boys?
I have Evan's name written on my panties, just in case he sees them.
False ... So far. But hypothetically -- if I did write his name on my panties, if I lost them, could he be trusted to return them? Can I see his answer to the wallet question?
My hair color is my natural hair color.
True -- Ocassionally, highlights. That's about as crazy as I get.
I have never lied about my weight or age.
False -- Who hasn't? I don't do it for evil, but I don't wanna be labelled the biggest porker in the wedding party! Bridesmaid dresses run small. Sometimes it's a little snug, and when it's a little snug, the salesperson acts like you're the most disgusting slab of fatty meat she's ever seen. I mean, knowing you're being judged feels kind of awkward.
I can't leave the house without at least putting on makeup and doing my hair.
False -- I don't make a habit of leaving the house like a slob, but I have gotten out of the car to use the bathroom at a gas station while I don't know, on a ROADtrip with no makeup on. I've gone to the grocery store in my pajamas before. I know I was just talking about the weight issue, but I have more of a weight issue than I have of a look issue (look as in facial features, etc). If you don't like it, don't look is my motto. I'm okay with the way I look, but I'm a woman! A real woman, I have to watch my weight, I worry about it. I'm not the only celebrity that does ;)
I can't leave the house without at least showering and brushing my teeth.
True -- for the most part. Hair that's a little greasy from a day of not showering? I can deal with. Bad breath is definitely where I draw the line.
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